body is physically stopping and not able to do normal human things? Do You not care that it is impacting my ability to parent? Do You not care that my body is perishing? In my case, God did not say ‘Peace, be still,’ to the pain. So the accusatory, ‘Where is God in my pain?’ has been a big thing. But there’s a second way to look at that question: Where is God in my pain? Although it is just a small little nuance, it implies that God is actually in my pain. Where is God now while I am experiencing pain? Where is He in this? And that changes everything. Migraines can be so isolating. Pain itself can be so isolating. But now, it’s an Emmanuel situation. In the personal pain, God is there. That has been such a lifeline that I’ve held on to.” In the midst of personal pain, there will always be questions like these, and God will always be there. It’s not a question of if God will be there, or if we will ask these questions or not, it is instead a both/and: I am questioning whether God cares, and God is here, caring for me. Because chronic pain is so personal and therefore often very private, it can be incredibly isolating, and particularly hard to invite others into. Madison talked about this as well, describing how terrifying it can be to let others know when you are at your absolute lowest and ask for their help. However, like she said, “The Christian community is necessary. [Sometimes we need someone to say,] ‘If this isolation becomes unhealthy, I am going to insert myself into it, and it’s going to be painful for both of us. But we’re going to do this together,’ or even, ‘What are you doing? No, I’m not letting go, I understand you do not want to see me. I am not letting you hide in isolation because I know that’s not healthy. I’m not letting you stay in the dark night of the soul. I’m not letting you build a home here. I’m going to sit with you in it, and then we’re going to walk out of this hand in hand.’” This action takes a tremendous amount of courage, both on the end of the person in pain and the person entering into the pain. But this is part of what it means to be a follower of Jesus and His image bearer. Galatians 6:2 says, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” However, when we quote or point to that verse, we often don’t consider the surrounding verses, which are exhortations about calling one another out on our transgressions, keeping watch over ourselves and guarding against temptation, both the temptation to think we can handle it and to think that others can bear their burdens themselves. We are called to step into each other’s messes. But it doesn’t stop there. We are then called to bring it before the throne of God. We are not called to be Jesus in the sense of trying to do what only Jesus can do, or to look to others to be Jesus in the way only Jesus can be, but rather to witness each other’s pain and then give it to Jesus to carry.  “That’s a really tough line to walk, being able to see somebody’s pain, hear it, but not take it on yourself, not internalize it as if it was your own. That takes practice,” Maddie said. But it’s a necessary practice, not just for those in relationship with someone who struggles with chronic pain, but for all relationships.

All of our stories are testimonies. And a lot of the time we need each other to show us exactly how they are testimonies. But because they are testimonies, they are not meant to be kept to ourselves: “Testimonies, while personal, cannot be private. They cannot. Because I have seen God’s faithfulness and goodness even within such pain – that overcomes my desire to keep it quiet. While I don’t want to diminish how the chronic pain has infiltrated every single aspect of my life, I don’t want to focus on that. But I don’t want to downplay it either, because if I downplay it, it also covers up the goodness and the strength of God amidst that. And I could not be more grateful for the way that He has walked with me through pain.”

There are all different kinds of chronic pain, from fibromyalgia, to arthritis, to back pain. Our hope with this article was not to put a blanket statement on all kinds of chronic pain, but rather to give some language and insight to both those who struggle with chronic pain and those who do not in order to encourage and foster conversation and community.